we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
