She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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