3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
