just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
