I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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