4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
