There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
