we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
