it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
