I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
