It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
