Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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