I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
