I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
