U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
