like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
wow bdsm is so cute
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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