where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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