Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
