So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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