well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
