quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
