p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
