I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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