I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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