First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
