Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
