ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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