Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
