i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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