I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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