i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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