I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
