Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
