I hate your face
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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