So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She even gives head with a lisp.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
