So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
