Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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