I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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