U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
