you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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