You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
