Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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