I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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