why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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