I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
