I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
