In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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