he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
