she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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