Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
